Yesterday I spent ten hours on a train, which gave my head an incredible amount of time to do some thinking, so I started to think about the rules upon death.
I have been to a few funerals in my life, and they have all been very sad, an emotion I’m not very good with, my initial response to when I see someone’s who is sad is to try to cheer them up, but I can’t do that at a funeral.
A funeral is once of those times the reason to be sad is a pretty big one, so its just accepted that its going to be a lot of crying and sadness.
So when I was sitting there in seat 3a on a very long train journey I started thinking about how my own funeral would be like.
All the funerals I have been to be so incredibly sad, from the song choices, to the clothes, even the flowers.
So spring, I have decided to give some very clear instructions to when I die, hopefully a very long time from now, touchwood.
Number 1. No wearing black, only bright and happy colors. Fluorescent pink, greens, oranges, I want you all to look like you have been tangoed. Instantly that will get everyone in a better mood.
Number 2. You know that saying, “don’t cry because its over smile because it happened” I want that. I want people sharing stories of stupid silly idiotic absurd things I did, and laughing at what a prat I was. I don’t want people crying because I’m gone. I want people laughing because we got to spend time together.
Number 3. No sad songs! That just makes everyone cry for no reason, I want Star girl and always look on the bright side of life please.
Number 4. If you buy flowers, I’m not really going to have any use of them being dead and all, so what I want you to do, pick a random grave and put them on somebody else’s grave. It will brighten up a whole graveyard
Number 5. I obviously don’t know how I’m going to die, will I die of old age, have I gone mental and jumped in front a train, will I have died in an avalanche? But I want to be remembered at my very best, probably how I’m right now. Who the hell knows what is coming tomorrow. I want to live on in people’s memories and stories as the best version of myself.
So those are my rules nothing sad, just laughing, storytelling and an Aperol spritz for everyone on me.