I actually do not have anything at all to tell you, my days are pretty much the same.
University, university and university. It’s a place I can almost call home because I spend so much time there I know the names of the janitors children, I know the marital problems of the librarian. But I don’t mind actually, I like hanging out in our old college library, feeling the smell of old books, seeing the walls covered with books. It’s not even the studying I do mind, I like what I do study. It’s the stress and anxiety of exams and the fact that a bad grade can determine my whole future, it all gets to me in an unhealthy matter.
I miss having a life, I miss September, the beginning of the school year, after class drinks, dinner with your college buddies and just having a bit of chill time.
I miss it. Now internships, graduation, thesis, the future and further education are all thoughts covering my mind. My future is unknown and it is terrifying and I wish I could predict the future ( a psychologist is not a psychic) but I cannot.
Everything will figure itself out, I’m sure of it. I don’t know where I will be in 5 years, hell I don’t know where I will be in 1 year, but I’m sure of something and that is I will achieve greatness, it might not be measured in wealth but I know my future withholds the possibility to help others and that thought satisfies me, and I will take that over a Chanel bag!
So yesterday turned out to be quite a good day. I got an A on my exam. I studied in the old, quaint and charming library.
It was a good day that ended with an episode of suits in bed with a cup of herbal tea. Before falling into a deep slumber and dreaming of a fairy landscape and riding on triceratops ( Freud would have a field day analyzing my dreams)
So here’s the thing. I hate exams, they make me anxious, irritable and frustrated, especially like on days like today, when our professor has failed to explain how the exam are supposed to proceed. These ones are the worst, will it be written, oral, on computer, group work, the possibilities are endless.
I guess that I will know, sooner or later (or in 90 minutes)
And Charlie is extremely panicky right now, so send some love and prayers and help me through this day of pure hell ( how lucky am I to call university exams hell).